A scream can do you good

Parenting is certainly challenging with a two-and-a-half-year-old and a 7-month-old baby.  I've written several posts about some of the challenges I face.  Even without Emma in the mix, life would be challenging given that Evan is in a phase of life where he is all about testing his limits and starting to try to exert his own independence, and when he doesn't listen to what we ask or throws a tantrum over not getting what he wants, it is definitely frustrating.

This morning was just one crazy morning for me, where my limits were tested for sure.  A couple factors made the morning more stressful to begin with: 1) John had already left for work because he had an early flight so it was just me getting both kids ready and 2) I had arranged to carpool so I really wanted to get out the door to take the kids to daycare at a certain time.  Perhaps that combination just spelled trouble, but I had gotten up early and gotten myself ready before the kids were up.  Then I figured one hour would be enough time to get the two kids ready.  Sadly that was not the case.

After I got ready, I had to get Emma's bottles and solid foods packed for daycare, get Evan dressed and finish feeding him his breakfast (which he didn't want to finish his Cheerios…note this for later), make my own breakfast and coffee, pack my pumping bottles, and then get Emma up, dressed and nursed.   While I was packing up bottles I saw Evan had gone to "hide" in a corner (i.e. probably working on a poop), so I got him into the bathroom to use the potty.  It was a false alarm (he probably held it too long at that point).  Then when I got back to the kitchen, I made my coffee in a to-go tumbler cup but I couldn't find the lid.  I think that's where things started going downhill for me.  I looked everywhere for the coffee cup lid and it was just no where to be found.  Evan even tried to "help" me (rather he got in the way), but no dice.  So my nice tall cup of coffee that I had made was looking less likely to be able to go out the door with me.  Then the time I should have been making/eating my own breakfast I had spent looking for said lid, and so I had to give up on that and just go get Emma up and ready.  I should also mention that Evan had taken all his magnets off the fridge during the time I spent looking for that blasted lid.  So the kitchen floor was now littered with his magnets.  I asked him to pick them up, and he did not oblige because he wanted to come upstairs and help wake up Emma.  My frustration was starting to build.

After getting Emma up and changed, I brought her downstairs to nurse her.  Evan was still pantless and surely in need of using the potty again (so I kept him pantless on purpose in case he needed to go on his own).  His magnets still littered the kitchen floor, so I more sternly reiterated to him to pick them up.  This time he started to do it.  However, the moment I sat down to nurse Emma, Evan wanted his Cheerios.   When I explained that they were gone because he told me he didn't want them anymore, he threw an all out fit.  You.have.got.to.be.kidding.me!  The whole time I'm trying to get Emma to latch on, he's running around screaming and crying for his stupid Cheerios and that distracted Emma from concentrating on nursing (and staying latched!).  By the time my let down occurred, she was still being distracted by Evan's screams and so we had milk spraying all over the place…in her face, on her shirt, on my shirt, and even onto the chair area around us.  I tried to get her back on quickly (I don't like to lose/waste all that precious milk, let alone get everything wet), but it was only for a few seconds before she pulled off again to see what Evan was doing.  More milk spraying everywhere.  Ahhhhhhh!  

Yep, that's pretty much what came out of my mouth.  A very loud, primal scream of "Ahhhhh!".  I just knew if I didn't scream like that I was about to explode and take it out on Evan, and probably say some very bad words in the process.  The interesting thing about the scream was that I did feel a lot better afterward, it actually got Evan to stop screaming (I think he was wondering what I was doing!?), and yet it made Emma cry unfortunately.  Her bottom lip curled under as she put on her cute little pouty face and then she cried.  Poor thing.  I had scared her.  I calmed her down, got her to nurse just a bit more, and then dressed Evan and got them loaded up to go.

When I look back on it all (as I write this post for example), I don't know why it all added up to be so frustrating for me, but it just did.  Probably because I felt rushed to get out the door and the kids were not cooperating to help me with that agenda.  Do they ever though?  I'm very thankful my job doesn't have a set starting time typically.  How do parents with strict starting work hours do it!?  How do they know how much time will be enough on any given morning?

Either way, the silver lining to this story (for me at least) was that right before I left I found that blasted lid!  It had been hiding in the silverware cup of the dish drainer (black plastic lid deep in the black dish drainer cup…no wonder I hadn't seen it easily before).  So, I got to take my coffee with me! :) Add to that a beautiful sunny spring day, so even though my day started off rough, it wasn't a bad day overall. In fact, it turned out to be pretty good.  Maybe that scream was just the therapy I needed to turn my day right side up again!? ;)