1st week back to work

It's Friday morning at 7:30am.  I am showered, dressed, and ready to go to work.  I just finished breakfast and I have everything packed to go. The only thing keeping me from rushing out the door is that Evan is still asleep and I want to nurse him before I leave.  He has been getting up anywhere between 6am-8am lately, and today is one of those days that it's looking to be closer to 8am.  This is not a surprise to me given he slept from 8pm last night all the way until 4am!  Usually he wakes up anywhere between 2am-4am overnight, and since he made it all the way until 4am last night, I had a feeling he'd get up later this morning.  Too bad this is not a weekend morning, as I would have loved the sleep in, but alas I had to wake up at 6am to make sure I had time to get myself ready and nurse Evan, whenever it was that he woke up.

Thus, that is exactly how my days back to work have begun...waking to an alarm at 6am rather than the noises from my baby.  It's a much more brutal sound to wake to, trust me.  Then I try to nurse Evan whenever it is that he wakes up, meaning I have to keep my morning rituals very flexible.  I then try to be out the door by 8am, but on a day like today it'll probably be closer to 8:30am.  Since my job is pretty flexible I can usually afford the variability in when I arrive to work that comes with waiting on Evan in the mornings.

Evan does usually give me the brightest smile in the mornings though.  This helps make my mornings easier.  Once he starts to stir and wake, I will go in and unwrap him from his swaddle sack.  Once his tired eyes focus on me he'll grin and as I unwrap each arm it springs upward forming part of a 'Y' (think the YMCA dance), in which position he does the cutest morning stretch.  Then I take him out of his crib to nurse.  That is the most precious moment of my day right now.

Though I didn't catch a smile on camera, this is the cute vision of Evan in the morning in his "pea pod", as I think of it.

When I'm at work, I have spent my time so far this week getting back in the groove of things.  Having chats with coworkers that I haven't seen in months, dusting off the papers that were left sprawled across my desk, and figuring out a pumping schedule and location.  In one of my offices (on days that I work for the GLOBE program), which is actually a cubicle, I have to go upstairs to another small office that is designated for nursing mothers.  In my other office (on days that I work for the Research Applications Lab), I have a private office that I can lock the door to and pump at my desk.  However, I had to spend some time covering the windows that are on either side of the door with some posters to ensure total privacy.  I can already tell you I prefer the second location, as I don't have to pack away my pump parts every single time, nor do I have to walk to another part of the building.  I'm trying to pump about twice a day and then leave work early around 2:30pm or so, which allows me to get home and nurse Evan more times out of the day than if I were to work the full 8-hour shift at the office.  Again, my flexible job allows that and I am very thankful.

Since I haven't had to leave Evan with a stranger yet (i.e. daycare) given that my mom is here to watch him these first few weeks I go back, I think that has helped me handle the separation.  The first day I went back, on Monday, I didn't cry like I thought I might.  In fact, I think I was in too much of a rush to get out the door given I did have a 9am work meeting that morning, so after I nursed him, I hugged him and handed him off to Mom and got on my way.  So all in all, my first week back has been alright.  Evan's been doing great for Mom, and I have started to recall what it is about work that I like and/or am supposed to be doing.  Now I'm just dreading the day I have to go to work and drop him off with a stranger.