How to put a toddler to bed in 100 easy steps (our rendition)

Awhile back I heard about Honest Toddler, a twitter user who tweets from a toddler's perspective, and I found it pretty hilarious (because it rang so true!).  Now it's gone beyond twitter to have blogs, books, and probably much more than I know about.  I recently saw a blog post by him/her (this person has gone unidentified so far) that made me laugh, but many of the things on the list didn't resonate with us.  However, our bedtime routine with Evan these days has gotten quite lengthy, and the other night was just over the top so I decided I'd write it all out in steps as Honest Toddler had done to document it all in a similar fashion.   I kid you not, it wasn't that hard to make 100 steps, given all of the actual steps we have to go through with him!  I will note that since we also have Emma there are some extra steps just because we are trying to get two to bed around the same time.  It's best when John is here, because he takes care of Evan and take care of Emma for the most part.  When it's just me because John's working late, well, the list is similar, but it's just me that has to do it all and so the kids get put to bed sequentially (Emma first) rather than at the same time, and so this timeline can be even more stretched out.

Anyway, here it goes..."How to put a toddler to bed...in our house...in 100 easy steps" (and this isn't even on a bath night!):

1) It's about 7:30pm. Announce that it's time to go to bed.
2) Reinforce that it is really bed time after Evan tries to deny it.
3) Follow Evan as he crawls ever so slowly up the stairs, baby in my arms.
4) While I change Emma into her clean diaper and pajamas, John fights with Evan to get him undressed (all of us are in Emma's room).
5) Evan runs into his bedroom laughing.
6) John calls Evan back.  No response.
7) John calls Evan back, threatening no snuggles tonight if he doesn't come back now.
8) Evan returns and John manages to get the shirt and pants off of a wiggly Evan.
9) Evan runs away laughing, now naked.
10) John fills Emma's humidifier with fresh water, while I sit down in the rocking chair with Emma.
11) I call Evan back promising I'll read a story book if he gets into his pajamas.
12) Evan comes back and stands near the rocking chair, naked.  I remind him I'll read the story once he's in his pajamas.
13) Evan runs away laughing, still naked.
14) I begin to read the story to Emma, while Evan returns and John manages to get his pull-up on him.
15) Evan comes to the rocking chair and looks at a few pages of the story that he heard me reading.
16) John attempts to get Evan's pajamas on, but Evan runs away laughing.
17) As I finish reading the story, John manages to hold Evan down and get his pajamas on.
18) John gets Evan's toothbrush, brings it in Emma's room and gives to Evan to brush his teeth, informing him he needs to hold still while he has this toothbrush in his mouth.
19) Evan starts to brush his teeth, but then runs away with his toothbrush in his mouth.  
20) I begin nursing Emma in the rocking chair.
21) John scolds Evan about how it's not safe to run with his toothbrush in his mouth.  
22) John turns out Emma's light as he goes to track down Evan.  
23) Evan stops and maybe brushes his teeth for another second.
24) John tells him if he doesn't brush himself, then Daddy will do it for him.
25) Evan brushes for another second, then runs away with toothbrush in mouth.
26) John tracks Evan down, holds him down to try to brush a bit more for him.
27) Evan keeps his mouth closed, preventing John from brushing for him.
28) John threatens no snuggles if Evan doesn't cooperate.
29) Evan opens his mouth a little bit for some more toothbrushing, and then bites down again, giggling.
30) John threatens no snuggles if Evan doesn't cooperate.
31) Evan opens his mouth a little bit for some more toothbrushing, and then bites down again, giggling more.
32) Toothbrushing time is over (i.e. aborted due to frustration).  After all, it's "good enough".
33) John tells Evan it's time to get his sleep sack on.
34) Evan says he's warm enough.
35) John tells Evan that since he doesn't know how to keep covers on at night and that since his pajama shirt is a bit on the short side, he needs his sleepsack on.
36) Evan runs away laughing.
37) John calls him back by threatening no snuggles tonight.
38) John manages to get the sleepsack on Evan.
39) John fills Evan's humidifier ("penguin").
40) John tells Evan it's time to get into bed.
41) John closes the blinds and curtains.
42) John turns out the light.
43) John turns on airplane (a solar-powered nightlight in shape of airplane).
44) John turns on penguin.
45) John turns on sound maker (a white noise machine).
46) John turns on stars (his Twillight Turtle).  It times out after about 20 minutes by the way.
47) John and Evan snuggle in Evan's bed.
48) Evan needs to say good night to Mommy and Emma.  He comes into Emma's room, and gives us kisses and hugs.
49) Evan returns to his room and John and Evan snuggle in Evan's bed.
50) Evan wants his "tag".  John finds the tag on Evan's baby blanket for him (to tickle his nose/face with).
51) Evan is thirsty.  Remind Evan that his sippy cup with water is laying in his bed with him.  Evan finds it and has a drink.
52) John and Evan snuggle some more.
53) Evan decides he needs to say good night to Mommy and Emma...again.  He comes into Emma's room, and gives us kisses and hugs.
54) Evan returns to his bed to snuggle Daddy.
55) Evan wants to play shadow puppets.
56) John finds Evan's flashlight and they play shadow puppets on the wall for a few minutes.
57) John tells Evan it's bedtime now, and Evan lays down to snuggle.
58) Evan rolls around his bed, while John lays still (nearly falling asleep himself).
59) Evan decides he needs to lay on Daddy's tummy.
60) John and Evan snuggle with Evan on Daddy's tummy.
61) I finish nursing Emma, rock her, turn on her sound machine and put her to bed.  She's out like a light.  It's about 8pm.
62) I go to Evan's room to say good night and snuggle.
63) John and I snuggle with Evan.
64) Evan tells me to move (I must be in his way since he can't roll around his bed easily with each of us on either side of him).
65) I move off the bed and prepare to take the place where John's been laying.
66) John finishes snuggling and says good night to Evan, giving him a kiss on his forehead.
67) John leaves Evan's room, while I snuggle with Evan.
68) Evan rolls around bed avoiding snuggles.
69) I say goodnight...but then he needs snuggles.
70) We snuggle.
71) Evan asks "where's Daddy?" and I tell him Daddy's downstairs.
72) Evan asks if Daddy is doing the dishes.  I say maybe so. (John is great about helping with the dishes!)
73) After a few minutes, I say goodnight, but he needs more snuggles.  I snuggle for "1 more minute".
74) I say good night and he sits up for a hug (almost grabbing me as I sit up to go).
75) I hug him, kiss his forehead, say I love you and good night, and then prepare to leave.
76) As I close the door, Evan says "mommy!"
77) I ask him what, and he says "footballs, and soccer balls, and helmets, and hockey pucks!" (the sports ball decor on his walls).
78) I respond with as much enthusiasm as I can muster, then say good night and close the door.
79) As I'm halfway down the stairs, John informs me that Evan has gotten out of bed.
80) I turn around and go back to see what he needs.
81) Evan wants Daddy to pick him up and rock him.
82) I tell him mommy is here and can do it (after all, I'm the one that started doing that with him at bedtime sometimes!)
83) Not good enough...Evan cries and screams for Daddy.
84) I try to pick him up, but he pushes past me and heads downstairs on his way to find Daddy.
85) John brings Evan back to his room and rocks with him in his arms.
86) John puts Evan back in bed, says good night and leaves.
87) Evan gets out of bed again.
88) I rush up to see what he needs, and he pushes past me going to our bedroom saying he wants snuggles in our bed.
89) We all snuggle in our bed for one minute and John takes him back to his bed.
90) John says good night and leaves.
91) Evan yells out he has to wee.
92) John takes him to bathroom to wee. False alarm.
93) John puts him back to bed, says good night and leaves.
94) Evan needs his stars back on.  John goes and turns the stars back on and then leaves.
95) John and I hear a loud thunk. Evan cries out that his head hurts (due to hitting it in the wall).
96) John goes and hugs him and calms him down by snuggling him, says good night and leaves.
97) John and I watch the video monitor for signs of movement: we see Evan put his feet on the wall, then flop around so he's laying sideways on the bed.
98) Evan turns on Scout (to the bedtime music), has a drink from his sippy cup, then rolls the sippy cup along the wall (making a scraping sound that can be heard from downstairs).
99) John and I watch the video monitor for signs of movement, which have (finally!) become fewer.
100) John and I realize that it's now nearly 9pm (despite an 8pm bedtime). We change our plans from watching a movie to watching a little bit of TV and then bedtime for ourselves.  We're beat!